What I Learned at Chick-fil-A

I recently left a job at Chick-fil-A.  It was not the best work experience I have had, but I learned so much.  I spent the majority of my tenure at CFA as the night manager leading mostly teenagers.  Here's what they taught me...

1. Teenagers are much like dogs and snakes.  Like dogs they can be loyal to a fault.  Like snakes they will attack when they feel threatened.  Like both they can smell fear a mile away.
2. Teenagers are smart, hardworking and willing to do almost anything for a product, a person or idea they believe in.  With that in mind, they will not respond to a product, person or idea that is inauthentic.
3. Give a teenager respect first, and you will receive it back tenfold.  Do not demand respect from them or require it before you will respect them.
4. Teenagers will not just mimic but form themselves around who you are as a role model.  Be careful not just with your personal decisions but your words, actions and decisions around them all of the time.
5. Teenagers are between adult and child.  Give them responsibilities of an adult and then give them the attention of a child.  It will nurture their self-confidence and allow them to learn and grow with the security of your supervision.
6. Keep their best interests at heart as they may not.
7. Never assume you know them.  Never assume you know yourself around them.  Like all people, you're both changing while in relation with each other.  

I know they have changed me.  Thank you to each and every one of you.

Decades ago

I've been thinking about this blog post for a while now. It's just taken me a bit to get around to actually writing. Now, I have homework to do, but I think I'll pound this out. As it is, I really don't blog as often as I'd like.

So, I've been thinking about 10 years ago. And, when one does that, they begin to think about 20 years ago. I am currently in a place - time, space, location, relationships, etc - that makes me happy. I am content and pleased with where I'm at. When I really think about it though, I realize that 10 years ago I didn't think life could get any better.

10 years ago I had just recently completed an incredible trip to New York City. I saw Les Miserables on Broadway, Ellis Island, Mahanttan from the top of the Statue of Liberty (including the WTC), Strawberry Fields in Central Park, FAO Swartz (and I did play on the giant piano), Lincoln Center, Madison Square Gardens, Teresa Witherspoon (yes, I got a pic with her) and so much more. I also just celebrated my 18th birthday 10 years ago. Is there a bigger birthday than 18? Really now, I was finally an "adult"...as if I had any idea what that meant. And, quickly approaching was my graduation from high school. I truly believed that 1999 would be the best year of my life.

20 years ago I was sitting in a new town and new school. Now, I had been there for a few months. The whole experience though was surreal. I had my first, and last group, birthday party. I had balloons and flowers (from my grandparents) sent to school on my birthday for the first time. I also was getting invited to birthday parties and went to my first slumber party.

Looking back I just wonder. It's crazy to realize how much time has passed from April 1989 and April 1999. I'm connecting with people for the first time in decades online through services like Facebook. I'm remembering people whom were developing great relationships and friendships with me. I find it still very surreal.

I know I'm not old. And, I know I'm not alone. I just find it interesting how pinnacle those years were. It makes me wonder what's in store this year. It makes me wonder the next time I'll think "life doesn't get better than this" or "will life ever get better than this." How will I remember your influence on my life in 10 years?

Where do you draw the line?

Today I helped break up a fight between two fourth grade boys. Both come from rough situations. We were at an after school program that is there to provide children a safe and consistant place to hang out. It also provides a meal/snacks.

I think what I'm struggling with is that both boys were right even though they both were wrong. One wanted to take extra snacks home for his family. The other was upset that the he was taking extra snacks.

Yes, the language they were using was atrocious. And yes, getting physical won't solve any problems. But, when push comes to shove (no pun intended) how do you decide who was right?

One was hungry and knew his family was too.

One saw food for the kids program going out the door.

Where would you draw the line? What do you say to those two boys probably only 11 or 12 years old? They both had their snacks. They both were thinking of others not themselves. And, it doesn't justify their behavior, but they both have to be upset and angry about their situations. Nobody likes to be hungry or see their family struggle. Where do you tell these kids to direct their anger instead of each other?

So that's where I find myself...struggling with two boys who were both trying to do the right thing the wrong way...and, I'm sure they felt better releasing some of that emotion. I, however, do not.

Part of my About Me

What seems like a long time ago, I had an awful nickname. While that nickname was only with me for a few years, the way it made me feel summarized my whole childhood in one full swoop. I felt as though I never belonged any where because we moved so often. Even when we didn't move often, the long stays were in small towns that I would never be a 'native.' Unfortunately for those who did accept me for who I was, I always had that underlying nagging of the not belonging.

When I graduated high school I had an opportunity. I was going to a new school in a new state. No one can be "from" the college, so all students are at the same starting block. No one knew my nickname. No one knew my history. I had a clean slate handed to me at a school that didn't have any other students from my hometown. After one year of school my parents moved again. With that I did something I will never fully recover from.

I walked away from my hometown.

Almost a decade later I've begun the process of reestablishing contact with those who meant the most to me in middle and high school. I'm realizing that getting completely wrapped up in the bubble called college I neglected some relationships that didn't deserve to be ignored. I didn't fight with these friends. I didn't even say good bye. I just stopped communicating with all of them. I didn't visit because my parents and sisters were across the country. I just disappeared, and I didn't mind until now.

I hope to keep pursuing these old friends and the friendships we once had. I hope that a hello here and there will instigate further conversations. Maybe we can catch up. Maybe a new relationship will flourish between to the new people we are today. I'm not confident, but I am persistant. I'm also sorry. I wonder if those who meant the most realize that. And, I hope someday they give me a chance to tell them face to face.

Have you neglected a relationship beyond repair? Did you ever work to fix it? Did who you were in the past buy you a second chance today or ruin it?

And, the Grinch's Heart Grew 3 Times Larger

Just short of two years ago, I chaperoned a youth mission trip to Kentucky. This was not only my first mission trip ever, but it was my first time meeting many, if not all, of the youth. This group is from my family's church in Michigan not a church locally that I attend.

On the final day during morning devotionals, each person there - leaders, chaperones and youth alike - shared the "light of their week." Many discussed the people they helped and/or their vast feats at improving the living environments for so many people. My light was the youth working as God's hands. To this day I am amazed at how dedicated and loving they were while working under conditions of sleep deprivation, heat, humidity, distractions and excitement, constant interactions with friends and the mothering and fathering of us chaperones. Often it was the youth driving the work forward and refusing to head back for the night to prepare for the next day. Often it was the youth bonding with those we were helping and drawing smiles from faces who had seen harder times than many of us can imagine. It was the youth following God's will and showing his love that shown so brightly for me that week.

This week I chaperoned another trip with this group here in Chicago. For weeks I have been excited in anticipation to see the youth I had worked with before. I rarely see them, and now was my chance to catch up and get to know eachother all over again. In the end the week was more than I could have imagined. In addition to those I had come to love just a couple years before, I met more of their friends and group members. It was as if I understood the pain and joy the Grinch felt when his heart grew that much larger so quickly.

This week I watched young men and women dedicate their time, energy and love for a week. They ate the food at the shelter without complaint. They worked on projects that put them outside of their comfort zone. They slept in a building with only one room with air conditioning and the others with little air circulation at all. They worked with children and their reading, they cleaned homes and thrift shops, they built cabinets and dry-walled. These youth only wanted to do more than they already were doing. Most simply put, they left things better than they found them. And all the while, my heart burst with love and pride for every one of them.

Tonight I'm back home. While I sit here missing each and every one of them, I think about where each of them are headed. Some are in middle school, others high school and the rest are headed to college this fall. With my own impending move to Denver, I know I'll see them even less than I have these past two years. I pray they continue their relationships with Jesus. I pray that they remember they have each other. I pray they know they are loved and that this was not just a "mountaintop experience."

And, I think back over the week and realize...once again they are my light of the week. Through each and every one of them I saw Jesus this week more clearly than ever. Thank you, Lord, for such a brilliantly bright and loving week.