Decades ago

I've been thinking about this blog post for a while now. It's just taken me a bit to get around to actually writing. Now, I have homework to do, but I think I'll pound this out. As it is, I really don't blog as often as I'd like.

So, I've been thinking about 10 years ago. And, when one does that, they begin to think about 20 years ago. I am currently in a place - time, space, location, relationships, etc - that makes me happy. I am content and pleased with where I'm at. When I really think about it though, I realize that 10 years ago I didn't think life could get any better.

10 years ago I had just recently completed an incredible trip to New York City. I saw Les Miserables on Broadway, Ellis Island, Mahanttan from the top of the Statue of Liberty (including the WTC), Strawberry Fields in Central Park, FAO Swartz (and I did play on the giant piano), Lincoln Center, Madison Square Gardens, Teresa Witherspoon (yes, I got a pic with her) and so much more. I also just celebrated my 18th birthday 10 years ago. Is there a bigger birthday than 18? Really now, I was finally an "adult"...as if I had any idea what that meant. And, quickly approaching was my graduation from high school. I truly believed that 1999 would be the best year of my life.

20 years ago I was sitting in a new town and new school. Now, I had been there for a few months. The whole experience though was surreal. I had my first, and last group, birthday party. I had balloons and flowers (from my grandparents) sent to school on my birthday for the first time. I also was getting invited to birthday parties and went to my first slumber party.

Looking back I just wonder. It's crazy to realize how much time has passed from April 1989 and April 1999. I'm connecting with people for the first time in decades online through services like Facebook. I'm remembering people whom were developing great relationships and friendships with me. I find it still very surreal.

I know I'm not old. And, I know I'm not alone. I just find it interesting how pinnacle those years were. It makes me wonder what's in store this year. It makes me wonder the next time I'll think "life doesn't get better than this" or "will life ever get better than this." How will I remember your influence on my life in 10 years?

Hancock and my hometown

Note: if you have not seen Hancock and intend to, there may be content that could be considered spoiler material. I wouldn't continue reading.

Tonight I watched Hancock for the first time. With unique timing I received an email regarding my high school reunion being this year. Reflecting back on the movie and my relationship (we'll call it that for simplicity's sake) with my hometown, I found some intriguing parallels.

In the movie John and Mary are drawn to each other. She says something along the lines of: it doesn't matter where or how far she goes, he always finds her. There is always something bringing them back...and it's cosmic therefore unbreakable. Yet, when they're together, emotionally and physically, they become weak. They get hurt by each other and hurt by others. Essentially they are each other's worst enemies.

I think that's me and my hometown. I can't get away. I have family there. I have emotional ties to that community and the people within it. Yet, when I get close, emotionally or physically, I get hurt. All I want to do is wash my hands of it. And, I do all I can to not completely cut myself off. On the other hand, if I don't get hurt, it's usually because I'm not letting myself. I build myself up to someone I'm not, so I can look down my nose at those who have hurt me so bad in my life.

I don't think I'll go to my high school reunion. I might; I have a tendency to randomly change my mind. But, like John and Mary, perhaps life is better from a distance. Less people get hurt, and I don't wake up ashamed of myself.

What an incredible week

Hello, World.

Oh, where to begin. I'm not sure many know this, but I don't do well on my own. I figure it's my parents' fault for having so many kids, throwing me in day care and then, there's the whole public schooling thing. People were always around. Well, this week my sister is up to her usual shenanigans with work and her boyfriend. And, Susan is off on vacation with her family. That leaves me home at night alone with the puppies. This adds up to a minimal level of productivity and too long on the computer wasting time until it's bedtime. It makes for a long week, but I'm coping.

Then, there is the fact that I think we found an apartment out in Denver. I've been working with the Leasing Office this week to get the applications squared away. That's the good news. The bad news is that I'm totally freaking out about how much stuff I have. I think I'm going to have to kick it up on a notch on the sorting and giving to charity.

Finally, the great news. (I've been building up for the excitement. Did you notice?) Long, long ago when email addresses weren't common and 8th Graders were intimidating, my family moved from Richland Center, WI to Sparta, WI (62 whole miles). I was in the 7th grade; we had lived in Richland Center for 5 years. That was the longest I had lived anywhere. Well, I thought the world was ending. Surprisingly, it didn't. I did lose touch though with a lot of good people and friends. A few relationships stretched out over snail mail, but eventually we all drifted apart. This week though, thanks to the glories of the internet and Facebook, I have found a few of those childhood friends. And, I am tickled pink about it! I don't know how hard it is to rekindle friendships from over half a life ago (I still struggle with those just from high school at times), but I'm sure going to try. Today I've just been grinning thinking of these girls and how they impacted who I am today.

It has been a good week. It hasn't been easy, but it has been good. Now, I should do something productive and not on the computer. Anyone up for coming and cleaning a lil' with me?

Labels

Everywhere you go you hear people talking about labels. In the office there is training on not labeling people through stereotypes. Don't make jokes about ethnicity or race. When you go to the bars your friends tell you don't judge the person on their looks, all the good looking ones may not be as good looking in the morning. Or, when you're shopping, just because the guy looks better than you doesn't mean he's gay, maybe he's metro.

No matter what their are assumptions. If they're one religion, they must think this. If they're wearing that, they must be this. If this, than that! And, truth be told that isn't always true.

But still we fight that battle.

All labels and stereotypes stem from narrow-mindedness and even ignorance. At least all of the labels I've dealt with in my life. I had a REALLY bad haircut in high school. At the time it seemed practical and nobody close to me said otherwise. Needless to say in a short amount of time I was labeled a dyke. Ah, the joys of adolescence.

Since then, I've lost that one; but due to the quirks of a small town, I'll never lose others. And for that, I'll probably always avoid situations that force me to be seen with them. I struggle at even entering the Wal-Mart in my home town because I want to be me.

I will never shake:
-"Mike's daughter"
-"LeRoy's granddaughter"
-"Spaz" from high school
- or the other numerous pronouns used instead of Elizabeth when spotted in western Wisconsin.

I love where I grew up. And, I understand the trials that everyone must face with hometowns, families, race, religion, high school, sexuality, etc, etc, etc. But, I look for opportunities to further define myself. I love walking through that hometown Wal-Mart; when someone recognizes me (which rarely happens with the hair makeover) and asks, I tell them about the life I've made for myself in the Chicagoland.

What labels have you been given, and what do you do about them? Personally, I like avoidance, but not with out correcting them when the opportunity presents itself.