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    Wednesday, July 26, 2006

    Labels

    Everywhere you go you hear people talking about labels. In the office there is training on not labeling people through stereotypes. Don't make jokes about ethnicity or race. When you go to the bars your friends tell you don't judge the person on their looks, all the good looking ones may not be as good looking in the morning. Or, when you're shopping, just because the guy looks better than you doesn't mean he's gay, maybe he's metro.

    No matter what their are assumptions. If they're one religion, they must think this. If they're wearing that, they must be this. If this, than that! And, truth be told that isn't always true.

    But still we fight that battle.

    All labels and stereotypes stem from narrow-mindedness and even ignorance. At least all of the labels I've dealt with in my life. I had a REALLY bad haircut in high school. At the time it seemed practical and nobody close to me said otherwise. Needless to say in a short amount of time I was labeled a dyke. Ah, the joys of adolescence.

    Since then, I've lost that one; but due to the quirks of a small town, I'll never lose others. And for that, I'll probably always avoid situations that force me to be seen with them. I struggle at even entering the Wal-Mart in my home town because I want to be me.

    I will never shake:
    -"Mike's daughter"
    -"LeRoy's granddaughter"
    -"Spaz" from high school
    - or the other numerous pronouns used instead of Elizabeth when spotted in western Wisconsin.

    I love where I grew up. And, I understand the trials that everyone must face with hometowns, families, race, religion, high school, sexuality, etc, etc, etc. But, I look for opportunities to further define myself. I love walking through that hometown Wal-Mart; when someone recognizes me (which rarely happens with the hair makeover) and asks, I tell them about the life I've made for myself in the Chicagoland.

    What labels have you been given, and what do you do about them? Personally, I like avoidance, but not with out correcting them when the opportunity presents itself.

    Monday, July 10, 2006

    Blink of an eye...

    You spend every day, all day working towards goals - short and long. Maybe it's just about the monthly bills that day. Maybe it's about the dream home you want to own years from now. No matter what it always seems to be something different than that moment. Even when you can pause your life and recognize the moment, do you see all of it or just what is in front of you?

    In a blink of an eye...

    you can feel so much frustration and anger that you lash out at someone you love

    you can feel so much sorrow that you focus on tomorrow ignoring today's pain

    you can create a new life

    you can cut someone out of your life refusing to seize control of your emotions

    you heal wounds years deep just by apologizing

    you can have your life handicapped when your transportation disappears

    you can love and hate, end and create...

    all in the blink of an eye.

    Someone very close to me summed up how I've been living my life all in one cliche; unfortunately, I can't think of anyone close to me living any differently. As he said, "We all can't see the forest through the trees."

    What do you do when you see the forest?

    Bit by bit I'm working on it. Bit by bit I choose what is worth the struggle now and what just needs time. Bit by bit I look back recognizing my mistakes, faults, and things that I never had control of. The plan is to learn to see the forest more often...

    God grant me the serenity
    to accept the things I cannot change;
    courage to change the things I can;
    and wisdom to know the difference.